FEAR

Psalm 23:4: "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,

for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

Today is day 27 of this rollercoaster nightmare we have been on with my mom in the hospital and I must say—through a various set of circumstances I had quite the epiphany today. On this 27th day of pure hell, I realize I have been fighting an invisible enemy all along—FEAR. He comes at different times and in different forms, sometimes I can barely recognize him but all of a sudden, I realize I'm in the ring getting my butt kicked like Rocky Balboa in the 14th round against Apollo Creed. Blood, sweat, and tears oozing down my face, worn out and ready to run, dare I try to stand one more time as blood sprays out of my nostrils from one more punch?

Today, the Doctors informed me that they have decided to remove one of the major tubes that has been keeping my mother alive for the past twenty-plus days. She has already beat death twice in this adventure. (Less than 2 weeks ago, she almost bled to death!)  Naturally, I panicked and begged them to wait until I could get there, basically stalling for time so I could figure out how to convince them to leave this life-saving tube right where it is. They are eager to move her along to the next phase, but I am comfortable right where we are and I don’t know about Mom, but I have decided, I’m staying! Just like Rocky being held by his trainer Mickey in the corner of the ring, I want to be right here in the comfort of these amazing nurses who God has so graciously hand-placed us with. I know all of them by name, they’re my new “besties”. I’m in no hurry to leave my new friends. I know they have my Mother’s best interest at heart. Why rock the boat? As of just 2 days ago, Mom has been making so much progress. 

The FEAR of the unknown crippled me today and if it weren’t for Lori Termale and her amazing big sister/super Pastoral skills on the phone calming me down, I know FEAR would’ve gotten the best of me. 

FEAR can turn US into monsters if we let it.

FEAR gets into your head and messes with your mind.  He feeds you lies with his dragon breath and the lies literally sound like truth entering into your ears. Once it hits the brain, it begins to eat you from the inside out. You begin to believe the whole situation is hopeless, and that’s when you really lose sight of the victory. Fear cripples you.

But somehow in the 15th round, I found supernatural strength to endure one more time. I got up. 

After a conference call with the head person in the surgery department, we came to the conclusion it will be in our best interest to wait 5 more days to remove the tube. 5 more days to build up my Mom’s strength and defeat the enemy once and for all. 

Hey devil of FEAR, you lose—we win! Cue the Rocky theme music.

Joshua 1:9: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

CherieAdams.com