ROLLERCOASTER

You may think this is strange, but I HATE rollercoasters! When I was about 10 years old, I went to an amusement park in Rhode Island called Rocky Point. I loved this place so much as any kid would. I decided to brave the rollercoaster called the Comet Jr. It was one of those old, rickety, rackety, wooden rollercoasters that had one skinny, loose-fitting, little seatbelt to hold you in place as it tossed you around like a pinball machine. It whipped me around the corner so fast that my little 10 yr. old body flew into the side of the car with such great force that it literally knocked the wind right out of me. I thought I had bruised a rib! Needless to say, I never went on another rollercoaster again for the rest of my life. 

The last few weeks have been exactly like that rollercoaster, and it’s a ride I didn’t choose to be on nor did I ever want to be on yet here we are, day 19 and we are still whipping around these old wooden tracks.  I’m screaming to the guy in charge, “Please stop this ride! I want to get off now please!”

In case you missed it, I will re-cap the last 19 days for you. On Valentine’s Day, my mother went to the hospital thinking she had a severe stomach flu and ended up in emergency surgery due to a blood clot in a major artery controlling the intestine. It was touch and go for a week, then she began to get better. They moved her out of the ICU, only to find herself right back in the ICU just a few days later worse off than what she was before! This past Saturday, the surgeon informed me that my mother was bleeding internally and there was absolutely nothing else they could do for her. 

Those words hit me like that moment the rollercoaster cart is at the top of the hill and that weird feeling you get in your stomach as it plunges down the tracks. I was beside myself with panic and in my head, I was screaming “Somebody stop this from happening, Lord, please don’t do this!!!”

I am reminded of Psalm 116:3-4 The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “Lord, save me!”

Inside I was dying nevertheless, I put up a tough front. I looked straight into the doctor’s eyes and said these bold words: “I believe you are good at what you do, but I also know that I serve an authority higher than you, and his name is Jesus Christ! He decides when we are born, He decides when we die! Until God tells me it’s time,  I need you to continue to fight for my mother!”

Just as soon as the words flew out of my mouth, the enemy began to wreak havoc in my ears. What if I was wrong? What if God was truly calling her home to heaven? I didn’t really know the answers, I just knew that I had to speak it out loud hoping my ears would hear it and my mind would believe it.

….But I also had to let go of my tight grip and realize that my mother belongs to the Lord. I cried. He held me. I realized We are on borrowed time. In His gentle way, Jesus brought me to a place of sweet surrender.  

Amazing things happen when we place our greatest treasures into the hands of God. My mother is no longer bleeding internally, she is out of the ICU and we are making all kinds of progress. But I’m ready to get off this ride. 

For more information please visit Cherieadams.com